Speak free

Let’s Make a Clean Sweep!

Why is it that some people are just so grotty? Everyone has the right to live how they want to but surely some things are just unspoken rules. We all know that there are some things that you just don’t do. For example, robbing banks, killing traffic wardens and leaving your dog’s doo-doos in the street are all no-nos. Why is it then that we have certain people in our society who are horrible, dirty and smelly?

Have you ever been in a shop and encountered a munter by accident? If you have then you would remember. One minute you are innocently looking at something-or-other on a shelf and the next moment it feels as though you are having your face forced into a pool of raw sewage. Yes, I am talking about those occasional people who firstly don’t wash themselves properly and then insist on standing close enough to share their vile scent. Urk.

I only costs about 20 pence for a bar of soap and there really is no excuse for being one of the ‘unclean’. For God’s sake, how were these people dragged up??? Even if you have a predisposition for sweating then there are all kinds of different antiperspirants for sale.

The only thing that I can put it down to is laziness. If you just cannot be bothered to keep yourself clean then it really is a sad way to be. Unfortunately, it also affects everyone around you as well. It really is rather off-putting to think that someone does not wash and change their undergarments on a daily basis.

Perhaps there should be a national crackdown on society’s scum monkeys. They could all be hoarded up with an electric cattle prod and dumped into a giant communal bath. Mind you, I wouldn’t be the one volunteering to scrub their backs.

Attention you guys, I have a little bit of news about the ski resorts bookings for our long weekend trip. Next week is the deadline for the overall cost, please get it to me asap.