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Tight Jeans Debate

Tight jeans: is there anything so appallingly trendy as that? I can’t think of anything. There used to be a time where if you were a man and you had hair over your ears you’d get mocked in the streets, but nowadays—and I am aware I sound like a bitter older person now but tough—you can’t move five feet in the city without receiving a static shock from all those tight jeans crammed in one place together. And I’m not even joking about the static shock thing. Last week I walked through a crowd and past a Russell Brand inspired teenager who turned at the wrong time, his jeans coming within inches of mine. I received a shock straight to the groin as a result, and I can only imagine what kind of a shock the teenager received (not that I feel sorry for him, he deserved it for wearing tight jeans).

But here’s where the debate becomes intensely complicated—to the point where I become a hypocrite incapable of justifying pretty much all the points I’ve just made: girls look good in them, don’t they? I mean, it depends on the girl, but generally speaking they do look fine in tight jeans, or at least about three-hundred times better than a man who looks like a total mess. Not that this revelation should come as any particular surprise, of course. It’s like girls dancing, all they have to do is fling their arms about and they look at least moderately sexy; they certainly don’t look scary. When a man tries to do the same thing a truly gut-wrenchingly bad thing happens. The butterfly effect of a whole night-club of men dancing in this unforgivable way can probably be seen from space and I also wouldn’t mind betting it’s contributing to the Ozone layer.

One last bit of news, I am attempting to sort something for my mother as a gift. When I was having a chat with her the other evening she said that she would like a new pair of mizuno running shoes . Any suggestions?