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Showers

I don’t get how showers have become popular. To me, it’s like wire razor-wire-toielt-paper becoming popular, or cheese which tastes of meat. Showers! You feel cold before you feel warm, have to stand about naked, and feel cold getting dry—as opposed to a bath. The outlandish feel-good quality of bathing in hot-soapy-water with the subtle scent of reed diffusers far outweighs any negativity that may be felt while drying off. Plus, there are only two really fantastic things you can do while in the shower, as opposed to the bath, where you can read a book and do many other dry-handed activities. In the shower though, the only things you can do are a) sing loudly, thus ousting the unpleasant cold-on-the-feet feeling and b) extra-curricular activities, such as having second thoughts about all the things you were planning on doing later on in the day, but seem a really bad idea when you are freezing your butt off.

Looking at it closely, the shower really goes against all rules of human comfort. Shower curtains for example. Horrific things! Has anyone ever contacted bare-flesh with a warm shower curtain? No! And what about slipping in the shower? It has to be one of the worst ways to start a day, and according to some people, more people slip and fall in the shower every year than die of any other type of accident.

And I know it isn’t just me. I’ve had this debate with numerous friends—and even one agreeable enemy—and it’s the same every time. Nobody likes a shower any more than they like the way it feels when the dentist says, “Great to see you!” Well, maybe some couples like the shower. But that’s only because they can clean each other. Something which, for some inexplicable reason, becomes fun in pairs when it is fun-less on your own.